Save Reg!

Like most people I'd always assumed that The Bill was for real. You know, some sort of documentary. Let's face it - over the years the programme has never failed to portray exactly the correct current gender and ethnic balance that one associates with the Metropolitan Police.

But today I've read some shocking news:

Actor Jeff Stewart, who plays PC Reg Hollis in ITV drama The Bill, has been treated in hospital after being told he was sacked.

Press reports suggested the 52-year-old cut his wrists after being informed.

Goodness me, it seems that The Bill isn't a documentary after all. Apparently they're all actors!

But back to "Reg":

His character also "lives life by a very strong moral code and hates dishonesty or injustice", it says.

So that's why Reg had to go. Not for him the fashionable PC (!) concerns about diversity and all that rubbish. No, Reg just wants to catch criminals. How quaintly old-fashioned.

I've an idea. Let Reg return to Sun Hill for a few weeks and then make him Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police. You know it makes sense.