Who on earth voted Green?

A few weeks ago I wrote about the Midgeater. This year it is needed more than ever:

The midge is back - and this time it's serious.

Scientists yesterday revealed that Scotland's natural nuisance is worse this summer than ever before.

They say it's not just the countryside that is being plagued by the flying pests. A midge found in urban areas, a close cousin of the notorious Highland species, has been breeding rapidly and huge squadrons have been targeting pubs and gardens in city centres.

There is bad news for would-be Midgeater purchasers:

Sadly, stocks of the device, which cost £1000 each, sold out within two weeks of it going on sale.

And there is plenty for the wee beasties to eat, or, rather, drink:

A midge considers 1/10,000,000 of a litre of blood a good meal.

I'll stick with beer.

(Update: If the midges don't get you, the seagulls will)