Wednesday 7 September 2005

Do I get to drive a bus down Princes Street?

Who'd have thought it? I've been made Minister for Transport.

Following the examples set by my all too numerous predecessors, spending has commenced immediately. I've sent this message to the Prime Minister Benign Dictator In Chief:

I’m afraid that I’ve had to spend a considerable amount of my miserably small budget already. The department has hired an Under-Secretary In Charge Of Transport Negotiations With Brussels. There were a couple of minor problems, but they’ve been resolved to my satisfaction: (1) The appointee is foreign, and (2) He demanded a peerage. I explained the situation to my regular lunchtime drinking companion, the Duke of Edinburgh. (Amazing that this town was named after him. And imagine if he still spoke nothing but Greek: I’d be living in Edinopolis.) Anyway, he’s fixed things with the other half for the ennoblement of Lord O’Leary of Ryanair. Welcome to the department Michael.

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