Tomorrow's news today

I must admit, this had crossed my mind:

First of all: Don’t necessarily believe what the British say about what those sailors were up to when they were detained. There’s probably a 90-percent chance they will tell the truth, but there is often a lot more to these international “incidents” than meets the eye. The British will say that their sailors were in Iraqi waters and the Iranians had no business being where they were. But the Iranians are unlikely to have provoked an international incident under circumstances as clear-cut as that. And in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Iranians were actually responding, in this case, to a carefully planned provocation of our own. As Churchill said, sometimes the truth is so precious that she must be attended by a bodyguard of lies.

And what would be the purpose of such an "incident"?

I can hear it now:

"You know, I'm a pretty straight kind of guy.

I had been looking forward to my service as European President retirement, but now (sobs) my country needs me to undertake one more task.

Some of our military personnel - so generously funded by my government - have been kidnapped by agents of the Iranian regime.

Like my great mentor Lady Thatcher, I must do my duty to the people of Britain.

It would be quite wrong of me to abandon my post at this time. And so, by popular acclaim, I shall remain as Prime Minister until the job is done.

I also take this opportunity to announce a minor reshuffle of my government.

My wife, the newly ennobled Lady Blair of Liverpool, will serve as Chancellor of the Exchequer. She has widespread knowledge of financial matters.

Mr Gordon Brown has decided to leave my government and I wish him well in his new position as ambassador in Pyongyang."