My blood line can be traced all the way back to Farquhar the Great, lapdog of famed Scotsman Robert the Bruce!Farquhar, Farrer - obviously we are related.
If you click on the floorplan of the attic you will note the rather impressive Smith & Wesson Home War Games Arena in which the President explained to me how Scotland could solve its burgeoning crime problem.
My wife and I were able to "visit with" the President and First Lady in the tasteful Jack Daniels Northwest Sitting Room, which is to be found on the Second Floor. Sadly, there wasn't time to also see the Adolph Coors Northeast Sitting Room. As this was a family visit, the President thought it best not to show me the Hooters Breakfast Nook (First Floor). What a pity.
The President has asked me to convey his best wishes to the people of Scotland and looks forward to inviting First Minister McConnell to Crawford. As well as examining the modest AK-47 Appreciation Room (Second Floor), Jack will love the Halliburton Den & Smoking Lounge where he can enjoy a cigar without upsetting his pesky Liberal (sic) pardners in the Scottish Executive.
The President asked me to let Scots know about the new United States Department of Faith, something so obviously needed back in the Old Country. With such an organisation over here Rangers and Celtic fans will walk joyfully hand in hand into the sunset.
All in all, we had a wonderful trip and are so looking forward to our next visit. As long as the Blairs aren't there at the same time of course.