Saturday 16 October 2004

My visit to Texas

I was unable to blog for a few days earlier this week because I had to make an unexpected visit to the Lone Star State. It was indeed a great privilege to be invited to the gracious home of President George W Bush. You may be wondering why I was so honoured (or should that be honored?). I am a distant relative of a prominent resident of the Western White House, who says:
My blood line can be traced all the way back to Farquhar the Great, lapdog of famed Scotsman Robert the Bruce!
Farquhar, Farrer - obviously we are related.

If you click on the floorplan of the attic you will note the rather impressive Smith & Wesson Home War Games Arena in which the President explained to me how Scotland could solve its burgeoning crime problem.

My wife and I were able to "visit with" the President and First Lady in the tasteful Jack Daniels Northwest Sitting Room, which is to be found on the Second Floor. Sadly, there wasn't time to also see the Adolph Coors Northeast Sitting Room. As this was a family visit, the President thought it best not to show me the Hooters Breakfast Nook (First Floor). What a pity.

The President has asked me to convey his best wishes to the people of Scotland and looks forward to inviting First Minister McConnell to Crawford. As well as examining the modest AK-47 Appreciation Room (Second Floor), Jack will love the Halliburton Den & Smoking Lounge where he can enjoy a cigar without upsetting his pesky Liberal (sic) pardners in the Scottish Executive.

The President asked me to let Scots know about the new United States Department of Faith, something so obviously needed back in the Old Country. With such an organisation over here Rangers and Celtic fans will walk joyfully hand in hand into the sunset.

All in all, we had a wonderful trip and are so looking forward to our next visit. As long as the Blairs aren't there at the same time of course.

1 comment:

David Farrer said...

Comments made on previous template:

Alastarir Ross
Deeply shallow,its true. Hooters in Boston is a fun-filled monument to tackiness and lack of refinement.Sadly, Crawford, TX is 'dry' at present( rather like GWB) so the chances of Hooters opening there may be,in the argot of the land, Slim and None, and Slim, predictably enough, is out of town.

20 October 2004, 06:36:15 GMT+01:00
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Neil Craig
We men are such shallow creatures I'm glad to say.

19 October 2004, 19:12:12 GMT+01:00
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David Farrer
The Hooters airline may be of interest.

19 October 2004, 07:28:58 GMT+01:00
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Neil Craig
I checked out the Hooters Breakfast Room & was very disappointed.

18 October 2004, 23:46:41 GMT+01:00
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As I cannot fathom what the heck that was all meant to be about, I thought I'd ignore it and attract your attention to this piece of good news: 
I wish that European and US farmers would take the hint from New Zealand. 
I find the question asked by the BBC journalist particularly revealing: 
"How do you manage?" was my question to Bevan and Caroline.  
"How is it you are able to farm without subsidies, when so many subsidised farmers in a country like Britain are struggling?"  
Obviously not a pupil of free-market economics.

17 October 2004, 19:58:56 GMT+01:00
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myrette robertson
Very amusing--especially since the home is a bungalow--that means one floor!

16 October 2004, 21:11:10 GMT+01:00