Friday 1 January 2010


First of all, a Happy New Year to everyone.

I see that it's customary to give one's forecast for the coming year, so here goes.

May 2010: the Conservatives get most seats in the General Election but fall short of a majority. An approach is made to the SNP who agree to support the Tories in exchange for an independence referendum.

June 2010: Cameron makes this a "now or never" vote and the referendum is held on 24th June. No one in London has noticed that this is the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn and Scotland votes overwhelmingly for independence.

August 2010: to the surprise of many a free Scotland reverts to its natural state of "small c" conservatism.

The new cabinet is announced on the Glorious Twelfth.

Prime Minister: Annabel Goldie

Chancellor of the Exchequer: John Swinney

Foreign Secretary: Alexander McCall Smith

Home Secretary: John Rebus QPM

Education Secretary: Sir Tom Hunter

International Development Secretary: Eamonn Butler

Defence Secretary: Sir Sean Connery

Health Secretary and Piemaster General: Brian Monteith

Secretary of State for Energy, Transport and Planning: Neil Craig

Secretary of State for the Privatisation of almost Everything Else: the Laird of Freedom and Whisky.

Meanwhile it is also announced that the Leader of the Opposition is The Right Honourable Dame Nicola Sturgeon of Govan and that the Deputy Leader is The Right Honourable Lady Wark of Kelvinside and Shepherd's Bush.

Other government appointments are also announced.

Governor of the Central Bank of Scotland: Sir Frederick Anderson Goodwin. This follows the recent surprise discovery of the world's largest oilfield underneath the headquarters of the ABN-Amro Bank.

Ambassador to the Court of St. James's and also serving as the Chairman of the Jockey Club and Social Secretary of the Garrick: the Laird Salmond of Linlithgow.

And a final surprise announcement is the new Keeper of Her Majesty's Muckle Flugga Lighthouse: the Duke of Kirkcaldy, Cowdenbeath and North Queensferry.

1 comment:

David Farrer said...

Comments made on previous template:

I don't think having a Defence Secretary based in the Bahamas is necessarily a good idea.

7 January 2010, 00:26:55 GMT
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You missed the growing discoveries of Gold in various areas of Scotland. The owners of the land will expect recognition.

2 January 2010, 10:29:28 GMT
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You forgot Murphy is he not going to be given a post to suit his excellance past governer of north britain status, he must have a use somewhere not that I can think of one.

1 January 2010, 22:28:49 GMT