We have ways of making you pay

Although the First Minister was unable to get himself from Orkney to Prestwick on time, Edinburgh's local bureaucrats are more organised:

Officers from the city council’s environmental health department confirmed they would be watching the events closely.

And just what are the "events" attracting such close attention?

Safety chiefs have said they will be monitoring "dominatrix" workshops to be held in a sex dungeon at Edinburgh’s festival of erotica.

That's OK then, I suppose. My taxes at work.

The dominatrix mistress said:

"You have to be aware of what not to do. I was trained in the dungeons of New York and London so I know what I’m doing and I’m confident."

Shouldn't she be working for the Inland Revenue?