Now hear this!

Just what we always wanted, a speaking car:

EDINBURGH scientists are developing the ultimate back seat driver - a car which talks back.

And scientists say the car will even be able to tell how it is being driven - and comment appropriately.

Wonderful.

"Pay your licence fee now, it expires in two days. By the way, your local post office closed last week."

"My tank is almost empty, fill up, think of Gordon Brown, and enjoy paying the tax!"

"Of course you're far enough from the car in front." CRUNCH. "Sorry, I was looking at that sexy red Ferrari."

"They removed the next speed camera a few days ago. Ha! Did you see that flash? April fool!"