What's Jack Straw doing about this?

Thanks to the full-metal-kilt-wearing Andrew Ian Dodge for reminding me of this story:

Kilt ban gets people uppitty..inc this Anglo-Norman.

And 9000 people have so far signed the petition to get an apology for a High School student who was banned from wearing his Clan kilt to a ball.

It seems clear to me that the Principal of Jackson High School must have been the victim of an extremely traumatic experience. How else can one explain his kiltophobia? Then it struck me: Mr McClard must have visited Paisley recently - and there's a town that would normally welcome a member of the Clan Lard - and the poor chap must have been forced to remove his baseball hat. (Scroll down if necessary.) A citizen of the good State of Missouri would indeed have been traumatised by such an event. And now he's got his revenge. In the good old days we'd have sent a gunboat. Clyde-built of course.

(UPDATE. Should the Royal Navy wish to do its duty - using HMS Edinburgh perhaps - here's the plan:

Take a south westerly route from the UK. Call in at Key West for some Rest 'n' Recreation. (Kilt wearing is optional.) Proceed to New Orleans. Sail north on Ol' Man River as far as Cape Girardeau. Turn guns to the north west. Range about ten miles. Fire. Goodbye Jackson High School. Then invite the local Southern Belles to an onboard party. Kilt wearing is now compulsory.)