Tuesday 13 May 2003

Police protection

An electrician used his screwdriver to stab a man who was trying to rob him. Apparently, the attacker ran off with the screwdriver "lodged in his body". Well done Mr Electrician, I say. And what is the police reaction?
Whilst we would naturally be keen to trace this man in connection with the crime he is alleged to have tried to carry out, our more important priority at the moment must be to trace him to ensure that he is not seriously injured.

"The workman reacted instinctively but unfortunately he may have caused the robber quite a damaging injury and we believe the man may require urgent treatment."

So the most important priority for the police is the health of the knife-wielding criminal not his arrest and removal from society. The police say that:
"This is a very unusual case where the original culprit has come off worst.
It's a "very unusual case" because the political class has made it virtually impossible for us to defend ourselves and they have reduced the police to a politically correct branch of the social services. Let's make the electrician Chief Constable of the Lothian and Borders Police force.